Once again I am on the Gajayana, the train that runs between Malang and Jakarta, stopping at Jogja and various other laces along the way. I will arrive at around midnight and have booked a room at the Superman losmen -guest house -. You may remember I mentioned that Superman’s restaurant was one of the first places to cater for backpackers in Jogja and got a glowing review in Lonely Planet. However the glow had long gone when we paid it a visit. But the losmen is near the station and I want somewhere cheap and central. If I don’t like it I will move on tomorrow.
Superman Losmen was perhaps the crummiest room I have had so far, but cheap and friendly.
Protoman or Subman Losmen would perhaps be more appropriate, although perhaps you have to be something of a Superman to put up with non flushing toilet and light switch that only the owner can work, or is unafraid of the exposed wires so is more prepared to fiddle with the switch.
I found out about the toilet the first time I used it and turned the handle. I thought it was the flush but found myself taking a cold shower, fully dressed.
I need internet access to do my work and send emails so moved into a beautiful little hotel nearby that has everything except toilet paper and soap, the first you get used to not having when East of Suez and the latter… well I suppose if I am to be interviewing these damned elusive Bishops and Priests I’d better by some. Perhaps soap with an odour of sanctity.
It’s now one o’clock in the afternoon and though I’m still very tired I’d better make plans and get on with work. It is probably safe to assume that no one will reply to emails or messages.
Sitting here on the terrace writing and and gazing at the mess of red tiled roofs, grubby whitewashed walls, wires strung everywhere and every kind of television aerial poking up among them, I could be in one of those run down suburbs you find on the edge of a Spanish city and sometimes end up at after getting lost or a long day’s driving.
A pause.
While sitting in this expensive café in the Maliboro Mall using their speedy internet connection I checked the news on BBC only to be shocked in to buying an extra strong coffee by two amazing news headlines;
Firstly Ricky Martin is gay! We used to use a Ricky Martin CD to do sound checks when I worked in Staffordshire and I would never have believed it from the album cover. Who next I wonder Elton John, Julian Clarey or -Heaven forbid! - Sir Cliff? The second piece of news is that Pacman - ancient computer game for those still living in the first half of the twentieth century - can be seen on a Martian moon. At least I think it was Mars. I was so stunned by this evidence of extraterrestrial life that I did not take much notice of which moon it was. Out hear it is important to keep up with what is happening in the rest of the world, Indonesian news is a bit parochial so…Thank you Auntie!
Another pause.
I am now back in the hotel after a largely fruitless day haunting Catholic churches in search of a priest and not even getting the glimpse of a black cassock whishing round a corner. God help me - literally - if I had been run over and needed the lat rites. I was looking for priest called Romo Sidunata and everyone I asked told me, ‘He’s in that building over there.’ or ‘Just go around the corner through the gate and knock on the green door. You’ll find him there.’ or ‘Oh, Romo Sidunata. He’s just down the road in St Ignatius’s church.’ Finally someone said, ‘Romo Sidunata? He’s left town.’ And I believed him. But… I did get the address and phone number of a magazine I’ve been searching for and will be
going there tomorrow, I hope.
After the next piece of news I want you, the Reader, to go ‘Aaaaawwww!
The Kamus Idiom is out of print.
Go on.
Well did you?
After the next piece of news I want you, the Reader, to go ’Hurrah!
There is a new edition of the Kamus Idiom and it is just as ‘good’ as the old one.
Go on.
Well did you?
After the next piece of news I want you, the Reader, to go ‘Yippee!
I have bought a new book Kamus Gaul Bahasa Inggris. - Dictionary of English Slang - and it is like the Kamus Idiom only slightly more risqué having entries like ‘lardarse’ and ‘lanky streak of piss’.
Go on.
Well did you?
Really? Loudly?
After the next piece of news I want you, the Reader, to leap out of your seat and cry, ‘Hallelujah!’.
- If you are already standing you can do a twirl. -
These books will be used as prizes in future competitions on this blog.
Go on.
Well did you? I bet you didn’t.
(John please write a testimonial for the old Kamus Idiom to encourage my sluggard readership.)
So keep reading and commenting, and, and I promise some more thoughts on toilets in the next entry.
That always gives my readership a boost.