Of course I should!
But something is holding me back and what it is I'm not sure.
Leaving the Wretched Boy behind and all my friends my friends in the UK? Partly, but WB would come out and see me and we could go off and see the fabled Plain of Jars, before all the jars have been stolen, now more people are visiting the plain. Or we could go North to the Lao Cambodian border to that strange, beautiful and still not fully explored area where the Montagnards live.
And WB always becomes Number One Son when we are having an adventure.
Would friends come out and see me?
I have had three refusals so far that seem to be largely based on either being too old and feeble, or too cowardly.
Oh, fair-weather friends, who would watch me drown and only cry, 'I want to help, but I'd get wet and might catch a cold!'
I'm sure Viv would visit. Has anyone checked the *@$!-headed fish for adenovirus?
Who else?
Tell me. You don't have give your real names, if you are too shy to comment, and you could email.
Brooke and Madison would come and we would raise hell in Siem Reap.
I would be able to enter the sleaziest of sleazy bars with a beautiful girl on my arm and everyone would think I was a gangster, or corrupt arms dealer, and buy me drinks.
Respect! As the kids say.
Besides all that, I would be teaching Cambodians who desperately need to learn English. Not just to talk to tourists, though tourism is the biggest industry in Siem Reap, by a long way, because it is the entrance to the Angkor Wat complex. English has become the common language across SE Asia, so is used in all the neighbouring countries too. I feel that my work would be of some use there, while here in the UK I have come to believe that no government really wants to help the poorest people in society. They are needed to provide work for the lower middle-classes, whose votes both major parties rely on. My current teaching certainly seems to benefit a huge pyramid of teachers and administrators far more than the actual learners.
Reasons to stay here?
I will be able to go and see my friends every few weeks and... do what?
Enjoy their company and watch them grow old.
Nobody is asking for my help in building some huge folly, starting a new political movement, religion, hunting the mysterious Burmese Guinea Pig, some dodgy criminal enterprise, or anything else. All I get is the offer of a short walk around the Wrek (RecreationField) with a dog.
If I go what happens when I return... Poverty and a slow decline into older age and Death... The modern Death on the Instalment Plan.. gargoyles and bottle-imps... Business has realised that there is money to be made from a long protracted death... you need money to pay for your care... just sign your home over to us... then come to live in our care home... look at the brochure... fantastic setting... all run with the minimum of staff... on the minimum of pay...
please stay alive as long as you can... we need your £500 a week*... and it can only go up as you get more feeble... we need you money ...we have our second home in Tuscany to pay for... the kid's school fees... the boat... and our own expensive pension fund...where are the Euthanasia Centres? ...Not profitable... Kurt Vonnegut said: the government will help you die in peace and dignity, but only because doing so benefits them, too... and so far it does not...
That's enough Celine ...s
I can't think of any good reasons not to go. Except money. Anyone who reads this please tell me some.
The Tarantism Competition.
Won by Jill for a wrong but spirited answer. I like the shot gun method of firing as many answers as possible in the hope one might hit the target. Much better than never taking the challenge, and not even picking up the gun.
The correct answer was, of course, the dancer should have been wearing only one shoe.
There is a mysterious and ancient connection between the cult of Tarantism and monosandalism. I'm sure I have mentioned the fact before on this blog, and anyone carefully reading the Christmas Ghost story would have picked up on the fact.
If you want to know more you have to dig yourselves, so here is a useful bibliography from Stanford University.
Jill has also suggested the fascinating possibility of hat cults.
The Chinese secret societies of the Red and Yellow Turbans spring to mind. When it comes to secret societies no one can beat the Chinese, but there salways seem to be some Chinese who just don't grasp the basic principle, that wearing something like a coloured hat is a bit of a give away, if you want your society to be a secret.
Red Eyebrows was an even worse idea. You may get away with wearing a coloured turban but surely your Mother or your friends would nag you to death until you told them why you had suddenly dyed your eyebrows red?
... On second thoughts... green hair?.... perhaps Kit?.... he did come out East with me... and Liverpool has a large Chinatown... but I have never seen any Chinese with green hair... yet.
Jill, congratulations, you win the much sought after privilege of a blog entry. Just email it, with any pictures and links. Or if you would prefer I can send you the log in and password and you can do it directly online.
Everyone.
Should I go to Cambodia and work for just food and my room?
Both look very good.
* Price based on BUPA rates. The rent for a two bedroom house in NuL is about £350 per month.