I have a job!
Yes, it is almost as much as a shock to you as it is to me.
So I will not be going to Cambodia. I had just got used to the idea of getting rid of most of my inessential belongings, packing away the rest, letting the house and setting off to start a new life in a new land.
Now I'm staying here.
But I will have money. Each month I will have as much money as a Bank Manager or my Doctor earns while taking a short toilet break.
But for me that is more than enough. Any more and it would be squandered on a wild and hedonistic lifestyle that would reduce me to a cinder in less than a year.
I have a job.
Yet still NuL seems no more than a sterile promontory engulfed by a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.
This is what comes of watching TV documentaries about Stoke City Council.
Perhaps I should go to see the doctor and go through the tedious process of ritual lying.
What I want to say:
Give me those pills that turn greyshade into 1000,000 colours. And chuck in a few dozen Ritalin too.
What I have to say:
I have been feeling sooo depressed lately. I can't cope Doctor. My concentration has gone. I can't even watch a whole episode of Strictly Come Dancing without my mind wandering to thoughts of suicide.
One also has to be careful about giving too much away by falling into the trap of thinking the Doctor is a friendly and sympathetic person who has only your best interests at heart.
So you never, ever, say something like:
I have a job now thanks to the spirit of my Kris*. I'm going home to give it a small blood sacrifice as a reward.
You can get away with Jesus or Allah but the Spirit of the Keris and blood sacrifice... here in NuL?... Never! Off to the padded cell with you, Duck!
AND NEVER MENTION THE FOXES.
I have actually rewarded the Keris with a small blood sacrifice**.
If you do ritual you might as well do it properly. High Church.
None of this Low Church nonsense. I'm sure all my religiously minded readers will agree.
Why is there a picture of a lemur at the top of this entry?
Because over the weekend I went to see Kit in Lancaster and we visited The Lakeland Wildlife Oasis. A tiny zoo dedicated to preserving the wildlife of Lakeland.
They have a beautiful pair of snow leopards - both born in the UK - and more interestingly a pair of fossa.
While captive breeding has been used to reintroduce several smaller species back into the wild it has not been so successful with larger animals that need a lot of territory, and are potentially dangerous carnivores.
Should we continue to breed beautiful creatures like the snow leopard (ugly ones like the fossa too), that may never have the chance of being released back into a natural habitat that has largely been destroyed, and can no longer support big predators?
I don't know.
Talking of big predators. I hope you have all been following the exploits of the man-eating leopard of Nepal. If only Jim Corbett were alive and well!
If only we had man-eating leopards in NuL!
Leopards are my favourite of the big cats. They are great survivors and manage to live in quite densely populated areas, as long as there is sufficient cover for them to hide away. I've seen their fresh pug marks several times and there is always that thrill of excitement knowing a leopard may be quietly watching you somewhere close by.
They are intelligent and friendly, and make excellent pets. Until you upset them in some way.
Here the only dangerous predators are the foxes, and they kill you by nibbling away at your consciousness, or any exposed body parts.
* My Keris was given to me by Kit and is a straight keris not a wavy, or luk keris. I have heard the straight keris referred to as the executioner's keris.
The keris that are still being made are mostly luk for the tourist trade I suspect I may have a very old blade that has been given a new wooden sheath and hilt.
In that case it will have a very powerful jin.
** No small children or animals were involved.
Yes, it is almost as much as a shock to you as it is to me.
So I will not be going to Cambodia. I had just got used to the idea of getting rid of most of my inessential belongings, packing away the rest, letting the house and setting off to start a new life in a new land.
Now I'm staying here.
But I will have money. Each month I will have as much money as a Bank Manager or my Doctor earns while taking a short toilet break.
But for me that is more than enough. Any more and it would be squandered on a wild and hedonistic lifestyle that would reduce me to a cinder in less than a year.
I have a job.
Yet still NuL seems no more than a sterile promontory engulfed by a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.
This is what comes of watching TV documentaries about Stoke City Council.
Perhaps I should go to see the doctor and go through the tedious process of ritual lying.
What I want to say:
Give me those pills that turn greyshade into 1000,000 colours. And chuck in a few dozen Ritalin too.
What I have to say:
I have been feeling sooo depressed lately. I can't cope Doctor. My concentration has gone. I can't even watch a whole episode of Strictly Come Dancing without my mind wandering to thoughts of suicide.
One also has to be careful about giving too much away by falling into the trap of thinking the Doctor is a friendly and sympathetic person who has only your best interests at heart.
So you never, ever, say something like:
I have a job now thanks to the spirit of my Kris*. I'm going home to give it a small blood sacrifice as a reward.
You can get away with Jesus or Allah but the Spirit of the Keris and blood sacrifice... here in NuL?... Never! Off to the padded cell with you, Duck!
AND NEVER MENTION THE FOXES.
I have actually rewarded the Keris with a small blood sacrifice**.
If you do ritual you might as well do it properly. High Church.
None of this Low Church nonsense. I'm sure all my religiously minded readers will agree.
Why is there a picture of a lemur at the top of this entry?
Because over the weekend I went to see Kit in Lancaster and we visited The Lakeland Wildlife Oasis. A tiny zoo dedicated to preserving the wildlife of Lakeland.
They have a beautiful pair of snow leopards - both born in the UK - and more interestingly a pair of fossa.
While captive breeding has been used to reintroduce several smaller species back into the wild it has not been so successful with larger animals that need a lot of territory, and are potentially dangerous carnivores.
Should we continue to breed beautiful creatures like the snow leopard (ugly ones like the fossa too), that may never have the chance of being released back into a natural habitat that has largely been destroyed, and can no longer support big predators?
I don't know.
Talking of big predators. I hope you have all been following the exploits of the man-eating leopard of Nepal. If only Jim Corbett were alive and well!
If only we had man-eating leopards in NuL!
Leopards are my favourite of the big cats. They are great survivors and manage to live in quite densely populated areas, as long as there is sufficient cover for them to hide away. I've seen their fresh pug marks several times and there is always that thrill of excitement knowing a leopard may be quietly watching you somewhere close by.
They are intelligent and friendly, and make excellent pets. Until you upset them in some way.
Here the only dangerous predators are the foxes, and they kill you by nibbling away at your consciousness, or any exposed body parts.
* My Keris was given to me by Kit and is a straight keris not a wavy, or luk keris. I have heard the straight keris referred to as the executioner's keris.
The keris that are still being made are mostly luk for the tourist trade I suspect I may have a very old blade that has been given a new wooden sheath and hilt.
In that case it will have a very powerful jin.
** No small children or animals were involved.